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a girl

2 min readApr 7, 2024

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a poem

excuse me, but wasn’t i just a girl?

with mama eating green plums and pecans at the foot of her too tall bed.
with colorful beads all down my braids singing louder than i ever could.
with lightning bugs in my backyard almost outshining the stars.
with dandelions carrying my wishes away on a humid wind.
with chipped nail polish playing in between my teeth.
with honeysuckles never quite filling up my belly.

excuse me, but wasn’t i just a girl?

with my mama tying pretty knots into the ribbons in my hair and on my socks.
with my hands together praying that i start bleeding like my friends.
with my hands covering my blushing when i saw a pretty girl.
with my night light keeping mama’s demons away.
with my soul filling up my little red wagon.
with my heart burying itself in a playground.

excuse me, i was just a little girl.

when my mother taught me how to keep secrets.
when my big sister fed me her leftover confidence.
when my father showed me how much he really wanted a boy.
when my skin became too heavy and my hair became too tight.
when my smile stuck to showing all my teeth despite my lowering self-esteem.

excuse me, i was just a little girl.

when i learned to just like me.
when grief taught me to fear temporarily.
when my little sister fought for my attention.
when the dust whispered for me to make it my home.
when someone dubbed me a woman and redefined my girlhood.

i want to express my heartfelt gratitude to you for taking the time to read my work. it really means the world to me. feel free to clap, comment, and/or highlight; your support is genuinely valued on my end. if you are curious on how to and/or willing to further support me. you can buy me a pen. i also value good ol’ fashion word of mouth, so please feel free to share my piece and consider exploring this blog post. thank you again for reading this far.

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zaria rashay
zaria rashay

Written by zaria rashay

the nighttime musings of a poetess. ig, x, & youtube @zariarashay

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