a poem
excuse me, but wasn’t i just a girl?
with mama eating green plums and pecans at the foot of her too tall bed.
with colorful beads all down my braids singing louder than i ever could.
with lightning bugs in my backyard almost outshining the stars.
with dandelions carrying my wishes away on a humid wind.
with chipped nail polish playing in between my teeth.
with honeysuckles never quite filling up my belly.
excuse me, but wasn’t i just a girl?
with my mama tying pretty knots into the ribbons in my hair and on my socks.
with my hands together praying that i start bleeding like my friends.
with my hands covering my blushing when i saw a pretty girl.
with my night light keeping mama’s demons away.
with my soul filling up my little red wagon.
with my heart burying itself in a playground.
excuse me, i was just a little girl.
when my mother taught me how to keep secrets.
when my big sister fed me her leftover confidence.
when my father showed me how much he really wanted a boy.
when my skin became too heavy and my hair became too tight.
when my smile…
