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espy

zaria rashay

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a poetic prose

i did not recognize her when i saw her. i am ashamed to admit that. she has been by my side for decades. i noticed first the change in her eyes. the dirt of them had been fertilized. the evidence of its blooming was evident. from the way her hair reached for me, each strand a unique string of thought, to the way her skin absorbed all shades of light. even her cheeks blushed rosy under the glow of moonlight. petals fell from her smile lines; hemp leaves filled her crow’s feet. i try to remember how many outfits ago she started to mostly wear floral dresses. i think of how long ago it was that she stopped calling her parents and praying for them instead. their love glosses her teeth, yet she smiles still. her hands have changed too. they are still soft and uncalloused, but they move differently. like they have eyes that roll from her palms to the tips of her fingers. there is more grace in her beauty, both inside and out, more wisdom in her smile. her cheeks are puffed with wit. she no longer wears sadness as perfume nor desperation as lingerie. every time she looks at me, i feel myself rotting away. how is that possible when it is she who has grown older and not me? i am a haunting reminder of the girl she once was, yet she never fails to recognize me and pronounces my name proudly. i am where she comes from. she knows that i will share her loving bed as well as her grave. each day she grows less afraid to exist while i draw closer to accepting i am a memory. still, i do not hesitate to admire her. i enshrine each smile she sends me. she stares at me fondly and briefly reads me like that old book she keeps in her travel bag. each new adventure means one page closer to our end together.

i want to express my heartfelt gratitude to you for taking the time to read my work. it really means the world to me. feel free to clap, comment, and/or highlight; your support is genuinely valued on my end. if you are curious on how to and/or willing to further support me. you can buy me a pen. i also value good ol’ fashion word of mouth, so please feel free to share this piece and consider exploring another one of mine. thank you again for reading this far.

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zaria rashay

the nighttime musings of a poetess. in the daylight i sew things and play at production design. ig @zariarashay youtube: zariarashay